Stroking For Satan

When it comes to this job, you hear all kinds of different and often very strange things. One caller has been telling me how he came from a deeply religious background. I’ve had several callers like that over the years, and most do not wish to give details if asked about it. So it must bring up bad memories if they cannot even speak of it. Some have been caught masturbating and severely punished for it. Like some into religious blasphemy, some that came from a religious background and were taught masturbation is a sin can want a call talking about that sin.

I was told he wanted to “stroke it for Satan”, yes, I am serious. I didn’t know quite what to say. I can honestly say in all the years of calls, Satan has never come up. I was to be a witch for Satan, recruiting ones for the dark one, and by making him masturbate and “sin”, he was basically offering himself up to The Prince of Darkness on a silver platter. “Sin for Satan!” I repeated, over and over. Hey, whatever gets you through the night, I guess. It was certainly a very different call, and required me to try not to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

Many men and likely women as well, that come from very religious backgrounds truly feel this is a sin, to touch your own body for sexual pleasure, it’s hard to understand to a rational person. He’s called a few times wanting me to expound what a sin it is to masturbate, so I guess it really is a case of The Devil Made Him Do It, him and Flip Wilson, for those of you that remember the old skits he did as Geraldine and said that line when he did something he shouldn’t have.

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