Grandma’s Get Horny Too

Grandma’s get horny too, some of them anyway. They might slow down a bit, but for ladies that had a high sex drive when they were younger, they are often still feeling frisky in their older years. Not all guys are only looking to fuck college age girls, you’d be surprised how many men call and say they’ve had experiences with significantly older women, not even just women their mom’s age, but ones their grandma’s age. Some will speak of early experiences where they spied on grandma and jerked off to her as they watched her change or get out of the tub.

Some that have that fetish also are really into the old style old fashioned underwear like girdles and long line bras that look like suits of armor almost, the very plain, old types women of today just do not wear. Thing they would have gotten glimpses of from many decades ago. Sometimes they will reveal an older neighbor they helped with something was the first really older woman they had an experience with. One caller has fantasies about his grandmother to this day, even though she’s been dead for decades and he himself is in his sixties.

He likes to think of grandma sucking his cock, taking nude pics of him, touching his little “pee pee” and making her grandson cum. It’s always a bit shocking when a man reveals he’s got the hots for a woman his grandmother’s age, or that he’s already bedded a woman in her seventies or eighties, but they do reveal this once in a while. I can appreciate that a college girl would not have the sexual experience of a woman in her eighties, but the looks alone, yikes, but hey, some just go for pussy no matter what. Others have even said the older lady wanted it more than they did and was disappointed when they moved on, it was probably the first time they’d had any attention in decades, then the curious and adventuresome young lad disappears and no more nookie for grandma.

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Sleeping Nude

I’m not sure how many people sleep in the nude, but I’m surprised it’s not everyone, since it’s the most comfortable way to sleep. If you or your partner sleep nude, it also makes for easy access. Years ago this lady told me she and her husband slept in the nude and it “was just like Adam and Eve.” I was only a very young teen when she told me this and it was hard not to burst out laughing, even though I myself have slept in the nude most of my life. It just seemed a funny thing to say to someone.

Skin against skin can certainly be erotic and if you wake up, sleepy, half awake sex can be fun and dream like and surreal the next day. It can make masturbation easier for guys that wake up hard and want to pump out a quick one before starting their day as well. Nudity even when alone can be fun and arousing and I cannot recommend it highly enough. It just feels fun and natural to be nude, and it’s surprising the number of single male callers that reveal when they come home from work, the clothes come off and they are nude most of the time at him. Sadly some have felt the need to send photographic evidence of this, lol.

Most are calling in the nude, though some have just pulled their pants around their ankles or knees for a quick rub of their dick. Imagine sleeping with your loved one and you notice they have a hard on, just slip that hand down and begin to rub that cock and he will soon wake up and be feeling mighty sex towards you, and wonderful sex can ensue. There’s always a fun time to be had when you sleep in the nude with your partner.

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Lovey Dovey in The Tub

Who doesn’t love a nice, romantic bath with candles, bubbles and their partner? It can be a wonderful and inexpensive way to spice up your night and lead to a hot night of passionate lovemaking. Scrub each other up and dry each other off to get romantic and kiss each other all over once you’re kissably clean, sounds hot, doesn’t it? It’s surprising at times to hear callers talk about any kind of romance, since they usually are just the slam, bam, thank you ma’am variety, but once in a while, you do find a romantic one calling wanting to talk about all kinds of romantic scenarios.

It’s always a pleasure to get one like that, and hear how they would like to sweep a lady off her feet and make all kinds of grand overtures to them and have them respond in kind. I love to think of a romantic night like that, a beautiful dinner, maybe a massage after the bath, them rubbing fragrant oils all over your body. Those massage candles that you burn then pour the heated oil off of them and use on one another are very sexy. They smell fantastic and are low temperature burn, so you won’t burn yourself with the oil being too hot.

Of course those slick hands will wander down to the naughty, more sensual parts to caress them and tease them, and you will soon find yourself exploding with orgasm or giving your partner an orgasm. Just enjoying one another and the simple physical sensations that come from a sensual hot bubble bath and a massage from your partner can be a wonderful way to spend time with one another and not spend a lot of money, and it brings you closer together as well. The best things in life really can be free.

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Fart On Me, Mistress

One of my most frequent callers has a fart fetish, it’s literally all he talks about. The face sitting, the farting, the gassy foods one would eat to produce the most smelly gas. He said if a girlfriend wouldn’t fart in his face, he’d likely leave her. It is some serious fart addiction this guy has that sex without farting is no kind of sex for him. Most women would be mortified to fart in a guy’s face if they were being gone down on, this one would not only encourage such behavior, but expect it!

It’s hard not to laugh when this guy calls, I usually do, since the conversation is so absurd. I said it’s fun and games until you lose consciousness from lack of oxygen, lol. Being stuck under the covers as fart after fart blows over you. One of his latest fixations is if I was fucking another guy in front of him, riding the guys face, having him lick me, fart guy is not allowed to lick pussy, only smell ass, and he’s in a box in the corner with only his nose sticking out and then I go over to the box and sit on his nose and blast away.

He knows he’s not a real man, so he’s not allowed to fuck me and kept most of the time in a cock cage, but his nose is always ready to receive my farts. The things said on these calls are not to be believed, but hey, if that’s what turns you on, it’s harmless enough, just kinda weird. Not sure how many willing females out there would be willing to regularly indulge a man in such a fetish, if you can find one, good luck. Keep her and have her fart away to your hearts content.

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It’s How Big???

Some of the things callers tell you on the phone are quite ridiculous and not to be believed they are so outlandish. Hey, it’s their dime, let them talk about their fantasies if they want. One yesterday said he’d watched his wife get fucked by another man, ok, not too out there, cuckold happens, but when he said yup, the other man’s cock was eighteen, yes eighteen, inches long, I then was rolling my eyes and trying to keep from laughing as I said, “Uh huh,” sure it’s eighteen inches.

Tales like this are surprisingly common for men that call phone sex lines. You just need to divide by a number to get the real likely measurement. In his case I’d divide by three, to get six inches. When it’s a guy saying he has a twelve inch cock, then I’d divide by four, meaning it’s likely three inches. You really do need to have a sense of humor in this business, since so much of what you’re told by callers is insane.

They don’t usually want to be called on their lies though, so you just go along with whatever they say and act as though you’re in complete agreement as to what they are telling you. You fucked your mom every night from middle school through college? Ok, sure, sounds interesting. Your cock’s so long you tuck it into the top of your sock? My, you must be really popular with the ladies. It gives you plenty of material to make your friends laugh at when they ask about your latest weird calls. So guys, keep the wild tales coming, it gives us gals answering the phones something memorable and fun to laugh at, and who else in your life is going to give you an audience for these kind of stories?

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