Slut Wedding Guest

Who said wedding can’t be fun? Not me, I love going to weddings. I find them fun for many reasons. They are fairly easy to crash and get free food and drink and entertainment and blend in, especially if they are larger weddings. Not at all difficult to blend in if you’re dressed up nicely and are carrying a small gift. There’s booze flowing, many people are drunk, and lots of people are horny, that’s where I come in. I like to find guys that are often horny after having a few drinks and are looking for some company.

I crashed a wedding last weekend and had a very good time, I slept with two of the groomsmen and had a hell of a time. It wasn’t hard to get them to sneak off and play. One obviously had no date so he was easier to get alone and he was half drunk, so what guy’s going to say no to a woman that’s eager to suck his cock and then let him fuck her? I took this guy into the coat room and unzipped him and found his dick was already half hard and I got down on my knees and sucked on him and he had a gorgeous cock and boy did I enjoy getting it hard all the way and then bending over, pulling up my dress and having him fuck me.

His cock really filled up my pussy and he was pounding that dick all the way into me and I came pretty hard from his large dick in me. It was kind of a quickie, since we didn’t know how long we’d have in the coat room alone, but it got the job done for both of us. After, I went back out and had a lovely evening, drinking and dancing. I have another wedding crash planned for next weekend at a hotel.

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I’m Turning Into A Donkey

Some callers have what they call “transformation fantasies.” I don’t get too many calls like that, but most are men that want to be transformed into women. Today I had a man call that claimed to be turning into a donkey, yes, a donkey. I couldn’t believe me ears, He said he was “changing”, so I assumed he was undressing and getting out of his clothes getting ready to masturbate, then he said he was growing hair. I inquired if he was turning into a werewolf and he said no, a donkey, and that now his ears were stretching. It was one odd fantasy for sure.

So I went along and asked if any others in his family were also donkey’s and he said no, just him, and he had to hide while it happens. Then he said he was stroking his donkey dick and started to bray. It was the weird call of the week for certain. Then I mentioned his call to another operator and she mentioned a scene in the movie “Pinnochio” where boys turn into donkeys. I hadn’t seen that since I was a child, so looked it up on Youtube and indeed there was scenes showing this.

Perhaps this caller had seen that movie at some point and those scenes had triggered something in him. Many clients over the years have mentioned specific movies that were the core of a fantasy of theirs they’d given me the link to, to watch a particular scene. Movies can often have something in them that stays with us and creates a fetish. Many guys that are into quicksand fetish mention seeing a movie as a kid that had a quicksand scene in it and this was the start of a fetish for them, so why not turning into a donkey.

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Just when you think you’ve heard it all, you hear about another weird fetish. Now most of us love bread, but apparently some are taking that love a bit too far. I don’t mean overeating it, either. Now sex with food is nothing new, women have used bananas, cucumbers, all kinds of things in their pussies for millennia. By the same token, men have carved holes in melons and gone to town on them and fucked them silly, enjoying the slippery wetness that could feel a bit pussy like. Now it’s come to light that some are fucking baked goods.

Now we all remember the scene from American pie where the poor, hapless hero fucked the pie, I guess that is a bit similar. Well apparently rising dough can have a very similar feel to it as a human breast or ass. Bakers have likely been doing this on the sly for countless years. I recall reading a short story in my youth about a young boy that bought a piece of liver and sexually assaulted it, masturbating with it wrapped around his cock and imagining it was a pussy. I guess in comparison, a pile of rising dough seems the tamer of the two. No one had to die for a bowl of dough.

I’m just concerned about bakers cumming in the dough and then still baking it into bread for the unsuspecting customers, their own “special butter” baked right into it. Maybe they sometimes wait until the goods are baked, like a bagel, and it’s already got a hole in it, and they go and fuck that. Ones with poppy seeds would give a bit of a different texture to their cock, like a ribbed condom. Think of the possibilities. You don’t want to envision what might be going on in pizza restaurants, all that dough, the horrors!

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Look Grandma!

Now it’s pretty common for guys to have incest fantasies, usually about mommy and her fucking him or helping him after he’s caught jerking off. One would think sisters would be pretty common as well, yet in all the years I’ve been doing calls, it’s actually pretty rare. One relation even more rare is grandma mentions during phone sex calls. It’s happened a few times and usually bizarre and a bit creepy instances. One man wanted to talk about watching his grandmother wearing a girdle and peeing in a bathtub. Some have stolen grandma’s panties and are using them to masturbate with.

One that brought Norman Bates to mind said he dressed up in his grandmother’s clothes as she slept and he’d creep into her room and jerk off sitting in a chair in her room watching her sleep, what a visual that brings into ones mind. A caller that’s called a few times that also mentions his grandmother says he regularly, like daily, jerks off in front of her, all over the house, and that she doesn’t mind at all. He must have one liberal grandmother. Most would likely scold a grandchild for being caught, but he’s just doing it out in the open.

Honestly, these are likely all fantasies they just want the operator to believe are true that are very far from the actual truth. The mommy fantasy is a common one, so it’s not hard to understand, but the grandmother one is just not that common. It would of course have different roots for many people, maybe she was the one who caught them masturbating and the fantasy sprung from that incident. When questioned, of course most swear up and down this is their reality, no matter how far fetched it is. Just like how most callers claim to have a penis two to three times the size of the actual average sized cock, it’s embellishment and fantasy that some simply wish to believe is true and want the girl they are talking to, to believe is true as well.

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The Boy Next Door


I do enjoy younger men, and when I got the opportunity to housesit recently for a friend of mine that had a teenaged boy living next door, I couldn’t resist. His room looked out into her yard and of course I happened to like going into the yard and swimming in the nude, knowing he was looking from his window and likely masturbating like a fiend as he watched me. I was even very naughty and masturbated with the pool jets and I know he was watching me and listening to me. Since I was mostly underwater I know he wouldn’t have been able to see, but my moans clued him in on what I was doing.

I even looked up at him and waved and I knew that was pretty cheeky to do, but he was cute, and I wouldn’t have minded if he came down for a bit of a visit, which he did when I was sunning myself in the yard and I could see his young cock standing at attention through his swim trunks. I asked him if he’d like to go for a swim with me and he grinned widely and jumped right in. I followed him. I swam over to him and touched his cock through his trunks and he looked so shocked but certainly didn’t pull away.

I took off my bikini and tossed it out of the pool and pulled off his trunks as well and did the same. I pulled him over to the pool edge and wrapped my legs around him and told him to fuck me. I’m sure he couldn’t believe his good luck, but I liked him and wanted to play, and play we did. He came over every afternoon until my friend came back a few days later and I have many fond memories of playing with that teenaged boy. His cock was very nice and he could last and then go again any time I wanted him to. I look forward to the next time I housesit for her.

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