Sympathy Hand Job

I laughed today when a tiny dick caller with a three inch penis asked if I was his girlfriend if he’d at least get “a sympathy hand job.” I said well that’s better than a pity fuck. I wouldn’t want to have to extend my charity quite that much! He said it’s small, he doesn’t last long, big shocker there, so it would be over with relatively quickly. He said he had a girlfriend and he just knew she was out cheating on him. She still sometimes allows him to fuck her, after she comes home with a cum filled cunt of course.

She can’t feel his tiny pecker inside of her though, since it’s so small, and because she’s been stretched out. Sad little man. Yet when I mentioned callers had sent me pictures of their acorn sized cocks, he immediately said at least he wasn’t that small. As if he’s so much larger at a whopping three inches. Comical how the undersized still place themselves above the even smaller ones. A pecking order even among the little dicked guys. He was wondering if she’d come home filled up, likely so he lamented. He said even though she showers when she gets in, if he goes down on her he can sometimes taste their cum inside, even though most was washed away.

He was a quick call, didn’t last long. It’s funny when they spend so much time telling you what they want to talk about, by the time they are finished, they have around thirty seconds before they cum. They’ve spent all their time on the setup, it’s kind of funny. Men will never cease to amaze with their foolishness they go on about. Sex, fantasies, masturbation, it all takes up a huge amount of their time in their life. At the cost of many other things.

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Have You Ever Been with a Girl?

One thing many callers ask operators is “Have you ever been with a woman?” The idea of girl on girl action and them watching it is usually enough to send most into orgasmic bliss. I always recall one saying how each year on his birthday he treated himself to two escorts. He enjoyed watching them play with one another for a while as he jerked off, then he’d join them and supposedly please both of them. I always recall a guy I chatted with, not a client, saying he’d done a threesome once with two women. He said the pressure was more than he bargained for. It’s difficult enough to please one woman, let alone two.

Sometimes it’s just not worth it. Lots of men are subpar in the bedroom and certainly can’t get the job done with one partner. How many callers are admittedly premature ejaculators? A lot. So how on earth is a man like that thinking he will not only be pleasing one woman, but a pair of them? Well, a guy like that likely wouldn’t bother trying. They do dream though, so they often ask about real life experiences of the ones answering the phones.

We hate to break if to you, but most of the “real life” experiences we share with you are made up, but we know what you want to hear and can entertain you accordingly. Many think the ones answering are real life nymphos just waiting to spill all their “dirty secrets” with the listeners. Well, once in a blue moon you might get a real tidbit or two, but most is made up for your masturbation enjoyment. Look at a call like a movie, a temporary suspension of reality. Enjoy it. After all, the operators always believe the callers that claim to have twelve inch cocks and that have been sleeping with their mothers for decades, right?

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Licking Up the Cream

So many callers want to talk about licking up the cream pie of a woman. Usually cuckolds who were not the ones that deposited it there in the first place. Many of the small dick guys speak of only being able to dribble out a few drops. They fantasize they were real men that shoot rope after rope of cum. Some love the humiliation of their woman coming home from a date and making them lick up the leavings. Some didn’t even have any idea she was full of someone else’s cum until they were already going down on them and it came as a surprise. Some had too much pride to mention it and pretend it didn’t happen. It’s funny to hear them say they ignored the river of cum that was flowing into their mouth.

The humiliation soon becomes a turn on though, and they soon are looking forward to being the clean up boy. So many will state the first time was awful. If it was the surprise, they were horrified. If she told them, they did their duty reluctantly. Then things flipped for them. Yet most haven’t even tried their own cum on the tip of their finger, yet they will gladly scoop it out of their woman and even clean off the cock of their lover they may have watched deposit it into her.

Men can be goofy and ridiculous when it comes to these things. They will fight it at first and then embrace it and look forward to it. The look of the gooey cum, just dripping and oozing out is enough to make them nearly cum themselves. Some just adore the sight of that escaping a woman’s pussy lips and want to slurp every creamy drop out. So how do you feel about a cum filled cunt? Get you all hot and bothered?

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Birthing Fetish

Years ago I wrote a blog about child birth fetish, and it was pretty disturbing. Men that get off watching women giving birth videos like porn. Hard to understand how anyone could get off on that. Well recently I got sent a message about a different kind of child birth fetish. It was a man that fantasizes he himself wants to give birth, so he inserts large toys into his ass and then pushes them out and pretends he’s giving birth. It was one of the odder messages I’ve ever been sent, and that’s saying something. I told him someone else might better be able to help him. Just too weird for me.

The fact that men are having such odd thoughts is bizarre enough. After this many years working the lines, you’ve pretty much heard it all and then some. These thoughts, while not common, are out there and men do have them. You really do not want to know what goes on behind people’s closed doors. I can assure you. I hear about a lot of it and it’s mentally scarring enough to hear, let alone be witness to. Most women, especially if they might have given birth, would be even more horrified at such thoughts. They really do not want to know what some men think about.

You might be surprised or shocked at just how motivated and determined a man on a mission can be. The size of some toys they will try and shove into themselves. Do not underestimate them. One I saw on cam years ago, when he said he was going to take a sixteen inch toy up his ass I of course thought he was lying, I witnessed it. He wasn’t lying. I wish I hadn’t seen it. If this is what they are comfortable showing a stranger on cam, imagine what they are doing when they are truly alone and not being watched.

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Die, Die, Die!

Callers that surprise us are nothing new, since so many have very odd fantasies. This man the other day seemed like a fairly normal call. He wanted a mommy call and recounted how he’d been caught by his mom jerking off when he was younger. Then he said, Now I want you say every twenty seconds, “Die!, Die!, Die!” I asked him to repeat himself, I didn’t think I could have heard correctly. He said it again, I said I was sure I couldn’t have heard him right, but indeed I had. I asked why, where did this come from?

Then he further explained he’d heard her masturbating in the bathroom when he was younger and she was repeating this. I said so she didn’t say this to you when she caught you? No, she said it alone in the bathroom as he heard her masturbating. It was absolutely bizarre. Why would someone be chanting about death as they were masturbating? Who knows, but that’s what got him excited. He even extended the couple a couple of times for me to say it more. I’d never had a call like it, and there’s been hundreds of thousands of calls in my years doing this, but this was indeed a first. A jerking off death chant.

What kind of a wacko mommy she was, I’ve no idea, but he said he often heard her saying this alone in the bathroom along with the sex sounds of her masturbating. He asked me to say the word “really sexy,” though how one can say that word being sexy, I’m not quite sure, though I did my best. He seemed happy with the call, though he said he was calling from his car and didn’t plan on having an orgasm until later when at home. It really does take all kinds in the phone sex world for sure.

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